'the soldiers want their pensions, or perhaps cheaper drinks. why not have the goverment subsidise a cheap beer franchise? 99 cent 40 ounces of malt liquor should keep them happy.

sincerely, S. Grappelli'

Officer Herrer is a nervous type he stutters when he's excited. "M-Mr. Grappelli, w-what is this!"

I had fortified myself with narcotics so was able to remain calm for my meeting with the secret policeman's other stooge, if a little glassy eyed.

"Call me Simon, Officer Herrer. What's your christian name?"

"Grappelli you idiot! don't call me a christian! You call this a report!? Are you on drugs?"

"Whenever I can afford it" I smiled "Speaking of which," I rubbed my thumb and forefingers together in the international sign for 'where is the. . .'.

Herrer threw his arms up at the elbows "as a matter of fact Mr. Grappelli, I know that you probably are on drugs, we've had you followed, you and your little barmaid. Do you think we are idiots? and now you want money for this, this " he waved my little note in front of my face "Marketing Scheme?!"

It says something about my thinking that the best plan i could come up with involved egging on a jumpy guy who was definately carrying a gun, "Sure," I said "You could call the beer 'Appeasment' or something. Have the propaganda department front the initial cash. I bet the government will be turning a profit within 6 months. Sounds like win/win, don't it?"

Herrer scowled at me and stomped around the room, he had come into my bar just before closing time. He wrung his hands, I thought; 'poor guy, doesn't like his job'. "Mr. Grappelli," he sputtered "This is serious business, i can not bring this 'report' to Lt. Barbour, i do not think you realize who you are dealing with. We could make things very bad for you Mr. Grappelli!"

The wonderful thing about being on drugs is that when scary stuff like this happens the natural adreneline your body produces to warn you to run away or get ready to do something stupid just makes what ever you've ingested hit you all the harder therefor allowing you to remain calm and look really fucking cool. "Aw come off it Herrer" I said running my tongue over the back off my teeth in wonderful pleasure, "Am i supposed to be scared of you or something?"

Herrer lost it, pulled out his gun and shoved it under my chin "Yes you stupid Fool! I am the secret fucking police! You are supposed to be very afraid of me! Very, very afraid!"

He was pushing that gun pretty hard up under my jaw, bug eyes and sweaty face right on top of me and yes despite being perfectly painless fear did burst through the narcotics but i had him exactly where I wanted him.

"Hey! Hey! Hey!" I said backing up with my seat, "Alright! calm down man! You're the boss. I don't know how reports to the police are supposed to look, you guys come in here all cloak and dagger like this was something i was trained for in the army with 'You will not be adverse to following orders again sometime would you?'" I said imitating his bosses college accent, "Stop trying to be as big an ass as Barbour and explain to me what you all want!"

Herrer took a step back and put his pistol back under his arm. "Hem," he said " Barbaour is pompous isn't he?"

Me and the drugs breathed a sigh of relief, I told them they could go. This was going to work out fine. Me and Herrer sat down to talk homework like two high school nerds, half an hour later he accepted a beer. In another half hour Mary-Anne showed up with her pretty, big boned girlfriend Lily. At sun up the 4 of us are roaring drunk, drinking to the revolution and about to make a trip to Joe's for some stims. This was going to turn out alright, all i had to do was be careful, which of course I am absolutely no good at.

Part five: Got What You Wanted, Lost What you Had

oh the pounding of my skull and the swimming of my stomach. I blink around the room realizing i've fallen asleep with my contacts on. Outside the window the sun is going down so i still have a little while before work. I pat Mary-Anne sleeping next to me and pull on some boots before stumbling out into the kitchen. In the living room Herrer and Lily are in a pile on the couch looking so happy. On the table before them is a half bottle of wine . I grab it and go to stare out our gated window toward the canal. Outside the abandoned warehouses there the squatter families are cooking dinner, smalls streams of smoke streak the air. A room away Lily and Herrer are stirring and remembering where and who they are with. I pull open the window gate and climb out onto the fire escape to give them some privacy. A moment of nausea jumping up, then sitting down heavily, grabbing the cork of the bottle with my teeth and spitting it out to the ages. So, my concentrated campaign of self interest motivated good will has reached the morning after and the last thought in good Officer Herrer's mind right now is arresting his new bohemian girlfriend's good friend Simon Grappelli, his boss's reluctant, recaltrant even, informant. Lily and Herrer laugh lustily back on the couch, i toast the sky to their continued happiness and my own long life, swallow the souring wine and moan. Everything hurts.

A little while later Mary-Anne is up and she and Lily are giggling in the kitchen preparing one of her 'whatever is in the ice box' omlettes. I climb back in the window then go sit down oppisite Herrer on the couch. "Hey man," I say offering the wine bottle "have a good time last night? I don't remember how we got home, do you?"

Herrer declines the bottle and looks nervous, which is a look he's good at. "Oh, Mr. Grappelli," he starts.

"Simon" I say taking another belt of the wine.

"Simon," he smiles "I do remember how we arrived here but you and I still have some business to discuss."

My poor stomach clenches fearing the worst and I glance towards the Lieu door across the room, "Aw Herrer" I croak, "It's too early to be talking police bullshit right now, let's have breakfast first."

Herrer shrugs "Alright Mr.- ah Simon, I still think I should pay mine and Lily's share for the motor cab you hailed last night. What an extravagance!" he claps his hands like a happy child. I smile and relax. Mary-Anne and Lily come in with steaming eggs and boiled coffee and present them like a couple of proud hens. Lily's a nice girl, she and Mary-Anne had shared this apartment for a long time untill Mary-Anne could afford the whole thing alone. There were some bad feelings between them over that for a little while but they seemed to be over long before I came on the scene. I was going to say that women are better about those kind of situations than men ever are, but I'm not really sure if that's true and how could I ever know? Lily sits next to Herrer posessively and says "Eat Ferdinand, you need your strength!"

he looks over sheepishly.

Ferdinand, I think, thats his first name. I'll keep calling him Herrer.

So we eat and I think about my enemies and my friends and about the just random people who wish me ill or well and how I got involved with the secret police and how I got this clever idea to get over on them by living my life in front of them and inviting them to ,you know, come along and now i've accomplished that but had failed to figure out what might come next. This thought led to discomfort which in turn led to me figuring i need to get some drugs. I worked a couple hours before Mary-Anne so after finishing my eggs I got up while she, Lily and Ferdinand made nice. In the bedroom comparing jackets and ties against the ever dimming light I made plans to visit my man Joe hoping numbing my brain into a joyful putty would somehow work this situation out. Looking damn sharp i kissed Mary-Anne and Lily with varying degrees of passion, shook Herrer's hand firmly and made my way into the night.